Active Recovery

Just like my body, my mind needs some active recovery.  I am sitting in a hotel in Santa Cruz California.  I am alone and away from everything life.  I’ve got a stack of notecards, a journal, my computer and of course a bag of candy corn.  I am taking a break from everyday life to reflect on the present, the past and the future.  Sometimes it is like a ghost whispering in my ear and other times it is a song that forces me into a solo dance party that my downstairs neighbors are sure to feel.  This time away, this time alone, is the biggest gift I give myself.  I do it every year.

My solo trip is scheduled and managed.  I have to get a dog sitter and classes covered.  I have to make sure I have a ride to the airport and a car rented.  I plan, I prepare, I pack.  The chaos takes me through security, but once I get on the other side, my solo time begins.  I don’t have to be anywhere at any time.  This time, this trip, can take any turn it needs or wants.  This is my time to recover life.  This is my time to reflect on where I am and how I got here.  This past year was filled with heart ache and gratitude.  I had some of my lowest days and I had some of my proudest days.  I definitely needed some time to be with all those big feelings and emotions.

I put aside all the day to day planning and preparing.  I took myself away for some active recover.  A time to rest and enjoy.  And just like in the gym, active recovery is a main piece of training.  I no longer am chasing a personal best or that life altering one rep max.  I put in the time and the energy with my workouts.  I push my body most days of the week and expect it to push through even when it doesn’t want to.  After about six weeks of this, my body will start to feel fatigued.  I will have soreness over workouts that should be easy and I will have a hard time motivating myself to get started.  I will find every excuse not to start and then find every reason to finish early.  My body starts with a suggestion and then it just demands that I back off.  I have learned the hard way, if I don’t listen injury is on the horizon.  I then spend about a week doing active recovery.  I put the time in at the gym but it is filled with accessory moves and mobility.  I do a lot of stretching and movement preparation.  I take care of the little imbalances and stiffnesses.  After my week is over, my body is ready to reenter training.  My motivation comes back and the workouts seem so much easier.

I look at my solo trip the same way, it is something I need.  It is my active recovery.  My first solo trip I was so uncomfortable.  I had never travelled completely alone.  I always had a friend to visit or a conference to attend.  I had never just gone somewhere just to be alone.  But six years ago, a good friend gave me the idea.  She sent me a recipe, which involved notecards and questions.  I finished that first year feeling focuses and proud.  I learned a lot about myself in those few days.  The following year, I got a completely different outlook on life.  And at that point I knew I wanted to make this an annual trip.  Every year I change my formula a little, I change my location, I change my focus.  But every year I make time for me.

This was by far the hardest year.  My notecards weren’t so simple.  My wants are about programs for the studio.  Ways to build a community and bring back some field trips.  My wants are to see my minis spread their wings and still know that I will catch them.  My wants are to spend more time with people and less time in transitions.  But a lot of notecards were left empty because what I needed was time with eucalyptus filling the air, with my feet in the ocean and feeling the emotions of it all of it.  This year pulled me into the fog to be present with myself and the emotions that came.  Outside of work, my notecards weren’t big enough for the shifts I have taken and the ones that lie ahead.

The evolution of my solo trip isn’t simple, nor does it always fit on the back of a notecard.  As I was preparing to leave a quote popped out in a movie.  I wrote it down and I carried it through the first day of adventures of being alone.  But as day two came into focus, my favorite poet of all time appeared and I refocused “Hold fast to dreams For when dreams go Life is a barren field Frozen with snow.” -Langston Hughes.  It is easy to give excuses why we can’t do something or to push everyday life in front of what we really want.  This time away is a reminder to dream big and keep dreaming.  My reflection on past years is that a lot more of those dreams come true.

As I headed back into the real world, I realized that this year was nothing like I had planned or expected but everything I needed.  I was brought into the present.  I was reminded that there was no time schedules.  But most importantly, I was reminded that this weekend is about me.  There really aren’t any expectations.  I get to let the day unfold in any manner that seems right.  Time to just be in the moment no matter where that moment takes me.